Jace’s Birth Story
I shared before that my first birth experience was an emergency cesarean. Lack of communication/support and being under anesthesia for my first son’s birth led to some birth trauma for me. I knew even before I became pregnant again that I wanted a trial of labour (TOLAC) in hopes of a vaginal birth (VBAC) this time around.
Firstly, I want to mention that many who have a cesarean birth choose to have a planned cesarean for subsequent births, and that is 100% okay if that is what you want for yourself. For some, a planned cesarean is the safest (or only) route and may be preferred to avoid the reoccurrence of birth trauma since the environment is more controlled. My hope for you is that you are given all the information to make an informed decision for yourself and your baby and that you feel supported in your choice, whatever that may be. For me, that choice was a trial of labour.
On the day of Jace’s birth, I had a routine ultrasound scheduled that indicated the possibility of low amniotic fluid. I arrived at the hospital at 5 pm for a repeat ultrasound and nonstress test and was released 4 hours later once they were confident that the fluid levels were normal and the baby was doing well. At this point, I was 2 cm dilated and experiencing very mild, irregular contractions. I wanted to go home to eat and sleep, assuming our baby boy was arriving in the next day or two.
9:30 pm - I arrived home and sat down to eat. I quickly noticed the intensity of my contractions was increasing, taking all my focus to breathe through while leaning forward over a birth ball. I could resume normal conversation between contractions, so I assumed I was in early labour.
10:00 pm - The contractions seemed to be occurring regularly, so I started timing them. They were consistent every 3-4 minutes for a half-hour before contacting my midwife.
10:30 pm - I called my midwife and explained that things seemed to be progressing, and I thought we should make our way back to the hospital. We arranged childcare for our toddler and were on our way.
11:00 pm - We arrived at the hospital at the wrong door, which was locked. On the 7-minute drive to the hospital, things escalated quickly. In my mind, I was to go right back to the door I walked out of a few hours earlier. I was so focused on my contractions that I wasn't thinking clearly, and this was something my husband and I forgot to discuss ahead of time (oops!). When we realized we were at the wrong door I felt panicked. My husband dropped the bags and ran to get the car while I called my midwife and expressed that I didn’t think I could get back into my vehicle. At this time, I was leaning over a bench outside of the hospital, and things started to feel out of control. (No thanks to the individual inside who called security instead of helping me! In their defence, a woman howling over a bench surrounded by bags must have raised some red flags LOL). My midwife graciously came to get me with a wheelchair and wheeled me into labour and delivery on my knees (walking or sitting were not options at this point as I could feel how low he was getting in my pelvis). I was 9 cm dilated on admission.
I laboured in tall kneeling, draped over the head of the bed, and started pushing 15 minutes later in the same position. I effectively used my breath while pushing to move him down (known as open glottis pushing - something I teach clients and had practiced beforehand myself). There were two exceptions to this when his heart rate started to drop, and he wasn’t tolerating his position in my pelvis well. In the hopes of avoiding an operative birth, this required me to hold my breath and bear down hard to move him quickly (known as closed glottis pushing - this worked, and his heart rate recovered - relief!). Although I encourage clients to use the open glottis method of pushing as it uses your core while reducing pressure on the pelvic organs and pelvic floor, this is an example of a scenario where there was a need for variety in pushing styles (and that’s ok!). During this stage, I remember feeling an incredible amount of pressure in my rectum, followed by the “ring of fire” when he was crowning. It was at this point that I really had to apply my knowledge and allow my pelvic floor to lengthen/relax against those sensations.
11:45 pm - After 25 minutes of pushing Jace was born at 7lbs 7oz and 20.5 inches long. I was flooded with emotions - so much love for my little boy, shock at how quickly everything happened, gratitude for the support/care I received, and immense immediate relief that it was over! Ultimately, when he was brought up to my chest I felt healed from my first birth experience, and I will forever remember that moment.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I achieved the unmedicated VBAC I had hoped for. When I reflect on the experience, there are some key takeaways that I know made a huge difference for me that I want to share with you in the hopes that they help you, no matter what type of birth you have.
Find a supportive provider.
I couldn’t have done it without the support and guidance of my midwives. They helped bring a sense of calm over me in a situation that felt out of control in certain moments. I get emotional thinking about it, to be honest. I’m so very grateful for them!
Plan ahead.
So much of birth is unpredictable. For me, I DID NOT expect to labour that quickly. When things progress fast, it doesn’t give your tissues time to accommodate or your body/mind time to process what’s happening. Knowing your preferences and communicating them to your provider AND support person ahead of time will help make things go more smoothly in any circumstance. My providers knew what comfort measures I wanted to use, positions I wanted to labour/push/birth in, how and when I wanted to push, and my preferences for pain management and other interventions if needed.
Learn how to relax your pelvic floor (see a pelvic physio!).
Naturally, in times of stress or pain, your pelvic floor will want to contract. This can prevent the baby’s descent into the pelvis and stall labour. When I was in transition (when the cervix dilates from 8-10 cm), and when baby was crowning, I felt my body and pelvic floor tensing up against the pain. Verbal reminders to “breathe into the pressure” while visualizing a flower blooming open to allow my pelvic floor to relax were key here (something I teach all of my prenatal clients - flower bloom breath for the win!).
Consider positive affirmations & words of encouragement.
These are useful in finding ways to keep your nervous system calm. I had expressed beforehand that I thought they would be helpful for me. It’s common in transition to want to give up, say you can’t do it anymore, make it stop, or cry (I did/said all of those things!). Both my midwives and my husband knew some phrases to say to me. Hearing those positive affirmations and words of encouragement kept me going and reassured me that things were progressing well.
Use verbal reminders to keep vocalization low and to slow breathing.
These aspects help calm your nervous system and open the pelvis by relaxing the pelvic floor. Despite knowing this, there were moments I found myself hyperventilating and using high-pitched vocalization (okay okay I was screaming!). Hearing reminders to “lower your tone” and “slow your breathing” was extremely helpful for me.
When I compare my postpartum journeys after both births there are significant differences. In the first two weeks after my first son's birth (the emergency cesarean), I felt disconnected from him, ill from the anesthesia and medication, was in significant pain, and had the “baby blues”. After this birth, I was more clear-minded, felt an immediate connection to my son, and experienced much less pain with better mobility early on (despite sustaining a second-degree perineal tear).
I recognize nothing that I or anyone else could have done would have changed the outcome of my first birth experience - it would have always ended in a cesarean birth. However, better communication and support in the moment and better preparation ahead of time would have significantly improved my overall recovery. Instead of naively thinking that cesarean birth wasn’t a possibility (it always is), I wish I would have educated myself on all potential interventions and understood what questions to ask to advocate for myself and play a more active role in my birth experience. I am incredibly grateful to have had such a wonderful birth experience this time. Not because it was an unmedicated VBAC as I had hoped (although I am proud of myself for this!), but because I was able to make my own decisions with the support and guidance of an incredible team around me. It was truly empowering.
I am so passionate about helping pregnant people prepare themselves for birth. After taking some time off for myself and my family, I look forward to returning to the clinic to continue supporting you in your journeys through pregnancy, birth and beyond!
Thank you for listening to my story :)
